MAKE....ART!!!

My friend told me NOT to watch the new Noah film staring Russell Crowe. She said it was very strange and had transformers in it. Well, anyone who knows and loves BumbleBee (the yellow transformer) will know that the objects in Noah don't resemble a transformer at all. However, they are very strange and I don't think they were ever mentioned in the the Bible. Not that I have ever READ the entire bible.

The movie has been described as.... An "ambitious adaptation." Uh oh....we know what that means.....ART!

Russell states: " I think, people are seeing the movie and they're realising how respectful it is and how potent it is."

"You come out of this movie and you want to talk … about our stewardship of the earth, our relationship to animals, what is spirituality, who am I in this world – all these fantastic subjects for conversation," he said. "Art that can do that for people is a wonderful thing."

Yes it is...but it isn't THIS movie. I think when I came out of the movie I would be discussing how I lost two hours of my life over this shite and that is cost me a lot of money to see. Luckily we watched it on Netflix. 

The studio reportedly had been so desperate to win over Christian audiences in the U.S. of A. that it tested one version of Noah which opened with a montage of religious images and ended with a Christian rock song. Well....That didn't work!

I suppose they wanted it to cash in like Mel Gibson's Passion of the Christ. But,  Paramount now appears to have given up on its efforts to market Noah to Christians, with the studio issuing a statement in February making clear that the movie is not intended as a direct translation of the bible story. Really? You don't give the human race enough credit to figure that out???

One reviewer said "It does take some artistic license, " Ya think?  I do believe he is referring to the .....very large lava like creatures with shining eyes who speak English with the heavily-filtered voices of Nick Nolte and Frank Langella. They are angels who have been trapped this way, but in the end they burst apart and fly upward in a misty, golden glow......home, I am going home.....and YES - we actually stuck it out to the bitter end, unlike my girl friend who fell asleep.

Noah and his aged grandfather Methuselah (played by Anthony Hopkins living in a cave - is Sir Anthony out of money???) turn the latter into sort of a Biblical equivalent of  E.T or Yoda with all the wisdom that comes with those characters. "Boat float...... it will" 

I also came across this review written by someone who, I have to think, was in an altered state when they viewed it:

" Russel Crowe must compete for viewer attention with mind numbing special effects which are seldomly seen on screen and in cinema with that authentic wow reaction that we all had the first time we saw Jurassic Park, but the wows keep coming as the film is given an authentic feeling of under the fingernail deeply embedded very coarse shades of gray, grit and grime throughout this action packed often with violent frenetic and occasionally romantic moments." Wow - I can hardly breath....did we actually see the SAME movie???

 The film Noah is more of a surrealist nightmare disaster picture forever fused to a parable of human greed and a bit of the crazies tossed in for good measure. All based on the bestselling book of all time, the Bible, mainly the Book of Genesis. So it's not even original....well, except for the large lava things. 

When discussing this with my girlfriend, who is an absolute font of knowledge, she said "Don't you remember when Paul Newman took out an ad telling people not to watch his movie The Silver Chalice?" No,,,I was like, man, 16 and doing my Hippie thing....not reading the newspaper!!

Paul Newman was apparently not proud of his performance in The Silver Chalice. When the film was broadcast on television in 1966, he took out an advertisement in a Hollywood trade paper apologizing for his performance, and requesting people not to watch the film. Of course this backfired, and the broadcast received unusually high ratings. Newman called the film "the worst motion picture produced during the 1950s", and once screened it for guests at his home, handing out pots, wooden spoons, and whistles and encouraging the audience to offer noisy critiques.

The film featured unusual semi-abstract settings and decor

Writing in the first edition of his Film Guide in 1977, Leslie Halliwell described the film as "Po-faced biblical hokum ... with howlingly bad casting and direction ... a sea of boredom", assigning it 0 stars out of 4. I can't even imagine what he would have said about the film Noah....

Things I've learned this week:

Fifty Shades of Grey is coming out soon and everyone is talking about the lack of chemistry between the two stars. One person even went so far as to tweet:

"I don't think any actors can compete with the compelling dialogue of the book."

I READ THE WRONG BOOK? Compelling dialogue???

***

Colleen McCullough, author of The Thorn Birds,  was described as "plain of feature, and certainly overweight, nevertheless a woman of wit and warmth." in a recent newspaper obituary. 

I ...can't ....even ....speak! 

"Elvis Presley, fat and sparkly, but a real good singer..."

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The DUDE - Actor Jeff Bridges has recorded an album which he hopes will help insomniacs.

The Sleeping Tapes sees him talking over "relaxing sounds and other stuff to help you get some rest". Surprisingly, its quirkiness means it's not quite as relaxing as the Big Lebowski star may have imagined, BUT it seems to work for Jeff:

"While working on the Sleeping Tapes album we put in some long hours.  Listening back to our day's works, I'd often drift off. I'd wake up and smile saying, ‘Hey, this stuff works.'  Oh Jeff....sigh. There is a Seniors home with your name on it.