MONEY COMING IN....MONEY GOING OUT

There are ghosts in my machines. First of all my microwave/convection oven started to hum...not tunes...just a sort of rumbling hum. If I put my hand on the side of it, it seemed to stop, only to start again when I removed my palm. Now it is turning ALL BY ITSELF...and ticking!  - Yup - you open the door and away it goes. If you stop it by hand it will resume turning...only in the opposite direction. When I showed this to my husband he said

"OOOOOHHHHHH!"

Okay - list of things to do - look for new oven.

I was watching telly the other night and I went upstairs for something only to find my dishwasher had been on rinse cycle for...oh...two hours. Sloshing away - rinse - rinse - Alright - they are clean by now. My dear husband said

"probably a dirty switch."

Okay - list of things to do - look for repairman and/or new dishwasher.

A few days ago I had to go into town and do my usual grocery shopping, mail pick up etc. but when I hit the garage door opener the door only opened about a foot then stopped. I went into the garage by the other side door, and pressed the inside DOWN button. The door went down again. When I pressed it UP again I heard....a clicking sound...over and over and over and over. OKAY time to press DOWN again.

I came in the house and advised husband who said

"Well, if you are getting a repair man for the door you may as well get new weather stripping installed at the same time."

List of things to do....soon....call garage door people.

Today I am sitting at the table and I hear "Oh.......f**k!!!!."

"What happened?" I asked dear husband.

"I broke the stove."

Apparently in his rush to make tea he swung the teapot by the stove and hit one of the knobs for one of the elements....and sheared off the entire pin. I suggested gluing it back with Gorilla Glue but only got 'a look.'

Now this is a Jenn Air, state-of--the art, cooktop -  right - THIRTY YEARS AGO!

 This can't go on my list of things to do...it has to be done now.

I called a few places and finally found Marilyn. She gave me a number to call to find out if you can even get parts. Why I have to do this I don't know. Turns out you can still get parts and they have them, so I called Marilyn back.

Marilyn sounds like she smokes about forty cigs a day and was ordering parts for the Ark. I gave her all the info, model number, part number and she says.

"They have to be ordered in, we don't have them in stock." Really! Where the hell did I have to call with that 1-800 number...India? Okay Marilyn - you go girl.

I advise husband that he doesn't have to purchase an entire new cooktop - even though secretly I was hoping that might have to happen - just sayin'.  He says

"Maybe you should order four."

"Four?"

"Yes, four knobs so if another one gets broken we can have a replacement."

WHAT????? It's been thirty years and this is the first time anyone has swung a teapot in that general direction.

"That's going to be expensive and what if another one never gets broken and in the meantime we have to buy a new stove and then have a pile of old replacement parts? We may as well buy a new cooktop now." I explained with my usual logic.

"Okay, listen, you buy four parts now and have them ALL replaced. JUST IN CASE they are all wearing out from years of being used."

Well, there does seem to be a trend around here....so....rather than argue I call my new good friend Marilyn and explain.

"Really?" she says when I explain what my husband suggested.

"Yes, Marilyn. I am getting them all done."

"Okay," says the husky voiced lady, "I'll order them on Monday."

MONDAY? It's early Friday....Monday?  But, my cooktop IS thirty years old, and I am lucky to even get A part...let alone four, so I let this one slide. I wouldn't want Marilyn to accidentally lose my order, but perhaps she is thinking I will change my mind again and just order an entire new cooktop........





Things I have learned this week:

No matter how well fed my dog is, if he finds a nice dead bird, from who knows when, on one of our walks......he will eat it!

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According to data from the Social Security Administration, in 2012, there were 146 female babies born named Khaleesi — the title given to Emilia Clarke's character in "Game of Thrones" after she marries a Dothraki leader in season 1.

Really people...these are names from a FICTIONAL show and book! Can you just see your little one trying desperately hard to print that name in Kindergarten????

AND for the rest of their lives...Khaleesi? ...is that with a K or a C? And a silent H and two EE's, oh and ends with an I not a Y! Give me a break!