CCIB

Creative, constructive and informative bitching. That is what a friend and I decided should be the title of my Blog..... CCIB for short.

I do try and be creative, humorous, constructively critical and always informative....really, who else will bring you weird news of the week? When he commented to me about this idea I took it as a compliment. Some might say that isn't a compliment, especially when you tack on the word 'bitching' which kind of erases anything nice that was previously said.

Compliments come in many forms. For instance, when our daughter was a teenager, and every day was a new hair day, she sat down at the table and my husband blurted:

"I like that new look. Your hair fits your head nice."

Daughter : "DAD!!!!" stomp, stomp, stomp down the hall, door slams.

"I meant it as a compliment." he told me.

I remember when visiting out at the Coast one year, my sister-in-law came home from the hairdresser and her hair was, to say the least, not the most attractive. I commented:

 "it's very shiny."

"Hrumph." stomp, stomp, stomp up the stairs and door slams.

Her husband says to me, "Way to go. "for a fat person you don't sweat much!."

Geez, give me a break, I was trying to be a little positive. And I must say, in my defense, I HAVE NEVER been happy with what a hairdresser thinks is what my hair should look like. I always come home and do it myself. BUT, sometimes when you mean well it just doesn't work.

Speaking of hair. For a while I was wearing my hair down, as in shoulder length, blown dry,curled, tortured into place and sprayed. We went out for dinner with another couple and the husband said.

" I really like your hair down. You look so much younger.....I mean I like it the other way too, ........but you look ........SO MUCH younger."

I am sensing a theme here....like maybe, perhaps, likely DON'T comment on a womans hair.

****

It seemed like a good idea at the time: A man named Ben had dressed as the McDonald's mascot Ronald McDonald while he participated in a protest for higher wages for fast food workers in New York City. During the protest 'Ronald McDonald' was 'arrested' by other protesters for corporate greed and withholding wages.

"No wait!!! Really, I'm on your side...this is just a costume. I'm trying to make a point!"

"Yeah well, get over there with The Hamburgler!!"

***

One to watch: We have a city election coming up....and I am beginning to think that ANYONE can run for Mayor of this fine city. 'Mike For Mayor' Vogiatzakis has decided to toss his hat in the ring. The fact that he has no experience whatsoever and has had a few brushes with the law doesn't seem to faze this guy who actually states "I've NEVER done anything that I am ashamed of or I regret." Seriously - never?

We all have things that we are ashamed of and a whole pile of things that we regret....but not this guy. Which makes me suspicious as hell.

He has been convicted - twice - of filing a false statement to Manitoba Public Insurance because he collected benefits while working. He has had a judgment issued against him for non payment of earnings while running a DJ business and he is currently operating a funeral parlor which I wouldn't go to ....over my dead body.

He says there are two sides to every story and he paid $3,500.00 in fines and court costs because "MPI took me to a courtroom and said:

'HEY, LISTEN, we'll make you a deal. Why don't you sign that you made a false statement under the Highway Traffic Act?'  and,  Boom, there you go."

Good Grief! Shades of the Soparanos.

*****

And the winner is: How to Poo on a Date. Apparently you don't need to actually write a book that has any substance other than it's title.

How to Poo on a Date won the annual Diagram Prize, which is the years BEST TITLE award. The books publisher said "We are very happy and honoured that the public thought our book worthy of first place, because we would have been disappointed to be number two."

Other shortlisted titles were Working Class Cats:The Bodega Cats of New York City; Pie-ography:Where Pie meets Biography and How to Pray When You're Pissed at God.

Previous winners of the Diagram Prize have been : Bombproof your Horse; If you want Closure In Your Relationship, Start With Your Legs,  and last year's winner Goblinproofing One's Chicken Coop. 

*****

The other morning my husband says to me "So where were you last night?"

As I don't often sleep well and get up and  move to another location this is not a strange questions, however, I was there, by his side, all night.

"I was there." I replied.

"No," he says, "in my dream. Brad Pitt was here along with Rick Shaw." Rick is a neighbour from the lake.

"Well, that's two people I never thought I would see together." I replied, then I thought a moment and asked, "I wonder if you are ever in Brad's dreams?"

Things I've learned this week:


Anyone can run for Mayor.
You don't have to be a great writer to win a prize - just have a good imagination.
If someone pays you a compliment just accept it and move on.
BRAD PITT was in MY YARD!