When people exclaimed:
"Oh you have an aquarium! How many fish do you have?"
We would say with a deep sigh..."Just Jeffrey."
Now we have Lonely Lonely Bob. A single, blue/red Neon Tetra who is the only survivor of us going away for six weeks. My husband called him Lonely Lonely Bob, because we are putting human traits onto him and thinking he is very lonely all by himself, and I guess Bob because that is what he does all day......
I have tried keeping numerous 'exotic' fish but I think for this time I will just buy an entire school of Neon Tetras to keep Lonely Lonely Bob company. And no, I don't think I will name them all.
Fish can actually form schools containing millions of fish. But that won't happen here because my tank is only 35 gallons so really, what would be the point? Besides they need oxygen in their water and with a MILLION in my tank they would soon run out. I think I will stick with say, a Bakers dozen....twelve plus Lonely Lonely Bob.
Just so you know, and may want to drop this into an awkward moment at your next cocktail party....When schooling, fish use their eyes and something called a lateral line to hold their places in the school. The lateral line is a row of pores running along the fishes sides from head to tail. Special hairs in the pores sense changes in water pressure from the movements of other fish or predators....... I had no idea - I just think they are pretty....and I will buy more.....and it may keep our one remaining cat, Hope, busy for a while.
Since Lily went to that great litter box in the sky, Hope has been basically left alone - our house sitter worked all day. Now that we are home again she has not shut up!!!
Of course being a cat, she is either sleeping or grooming herself - generally at night, on our bed. But when she is up and sees us she just talks and talks. Cats can make over 100 vocal sounds...dogs 10. I read that the more you talk back to cats the more they will answer...so I am trying NOT to ask her what the hell she wants. Milk? Food? Out?
Another interesting fact about felines is that their urine glows in the dark. I actually read "If you think your cat has had an accident in your home, use a black light to find the mishap." Seriously - have you smelled cat urine??? You won't have any trouble finding it. Hope peed in my shoe once - I had to throw it out!
Other amazing and somewhat interesting facts about cats that I know:
A cat's jaw cannot move sideways.
In a lifetime the average house cat spends 10,950 hours purring. (This was probably a Government survey conducted by cardigan wearing, sensible shoe wearing World War Two brides to supplement their pension - your tax dollars at work!)
Sir Isaac Newton, discoverer of the principles of gravity....also invented....the CAT DOOR! Where there is up, there is down, where there is in, there is out.
When cats are happy they squeeze their eyes shut. I do this when I see chocolate.
And finally, something I have always questioned. The reason there is no MOUSE flavoured cat food? The test cats....didn't like it!!
****
Houston....we have a problem! Honk your red noses and squirt your lapel flowers but this is no laughing matter - America may soon have a shortage of clowns. Due to the advanced age of most professional clowns and a .....well....lack of interest in general clowning there could be a national clown shortage.
The largest clown organization in the United States is the WORLD Clown Association which to date has only 2,500 members. Apparently there are fewer and fewer opportunities for aspiring clowns to make a decent living. Our grandkids don't want clowns...they want Criss Angel! Someone who can make an elephant disappear not a grease-painted person with balloon animals. Clowning just isn't cool anymore.
For those who still want to don wigs, paint on eyebrows and ride around on small trikes there is the Ringling Bros Clown College. But alas only 14 tried out for a two week boot camp and only 11 of them were offered jobs at the circus.
David Kiser, director of talent for Ringling Bros stated, "Our audience expects to be wowed. No longer is it good enough to just drop your pants and focus on boxer shorts." At least I HOPE he was talking about clowns.....
In Northhampton a man apparently dressed as a 'funny' clown terrorized local residents. Well, that's not good for publicity is it? There actually is a phobia - a fear of clowns - called coulrophobia, so I am sure this didn't help at all.
However there is "no crisis" in Britain, states Mr. Eldridge of Clowns International, "There's never been THAT many clowns in Great Britain."
No, not necessarily clowns...but then who needs them when you have Pantomime?? No self respecting Brit would miss a Christmas Panto, where women are women and men are women.
Okay, so this isn't Panto. It's Beatrice and Eugenie...members of the Royal Family ...but sometimes you have to wonder!
This is Panto:
My second cousin Margaret's husband, Gordon, was in Panto all of his life. Along with his brother, Bunny, to whom he played the straight man. AND they made quite a good living, retiring in 2007. We caught up with him in England a few years back.
I have NO IDEA what I was doing in this picture!!!
Things I have learned this week:
Even though British man David Pope had more to worry about during the recent flooding in his village he managed to save three goldfish swimming down his street. Using a handy teapot he scooped them up and saved them from....well, freedom.
***
I have been watching Vikings on the History channel. I discovered that it is also in 'described video.' Now, from what I have seen I can't imagine WHAT the description would entail:
'Ragnar Lothbrok steps from his longboat. Several men on horseback ride toward him. Ragnar Lothbrok and his Norsemen hack and kill all the horsemen.'
'Ragnar Lothbrok steps down from his horse. Several men on foot attack and are quickly killed (hack, hack, chop, hack ) by Ragnar Lothbrok and his Norsemen.'
'Ragnar Lothbrok walks through the forest. He spies a camp. He and his Norsemen hack, hack, chop, hack....." .......well you get the idea.
But I will keep watching because I really like Ragnar Lothbrok.
No comments:
Post a Comment