COMPLAINERS - FORM A LINE TO THE LEFT PLEASE....

Apparently the BBC showed a program entitled 'Benefit Street', which is now causing a lot of controversy. It has been billed as a "fair and balanced observational documentary."  The main premise being "Benefits" (Social Assistance) within a certain community........That's documentary folks - as in - based on REAL life. Not a reality series or a made for TV docu-drama, or staged scenes that get the most bang for the buck. A camera crew following people about and filming them - without interference.

So, the upset, it seems, is because the BBC is seen as portraying them (the people who live on James Turner Street in Birmingham) in the wrong light.  The area has high unemployment and many of the residents rely on benefits for their entire income.  When one scene showed two men removing alarm tags from clothing 'apparently' stolen from a shop....several hundred of the 4.3 million views picked up their Smartphones, ripped their eyes away from their big screen telly's and called in to complain that: wait for it - criminal activity was being encouraged and condoned.

If that is the case then we had better start banning the evening news, a host of weekly television series and any Hollywood movie.

Oceans Eleven showed how to steal money from a casino - I don't think that was necessarily encouraged or condoned. Criminal Minds can give even the nicest person strange ideas, CSI can show you how to avoid getting caught and I don't think there have been more cases of 'reefer madness' since Weeds showed up on TV. Don't even get me started on RAP music!! And will History channel's Vikings have all the Scandinavians  going back to their roots - raping and pillaging England once again?? I think not.

Another sequence in the documentary highlighted 'Danny', (who was recently released from prison) show how to evade store alarms. It also showed 'Danny' later being arrested. Point taken.

The BBC is being lambasted for 'demonising' the poorest people in society, and allowing 'well-off' producers to further their careers on the backs of the poor. The residents feel the community spirit of James Turner Street has not been shown in a positive light.

While I feel there are numerous stories to be told on any given community, you cannot sugar coat an on-going problem by filming only positive actions. Of course, there are pensioners who are on social assistance, as well as people capable of working who just can't find employment - BUT - there are also the people who take advantage of the system (for generations in some cases), and are involved in criminal activity AND who basically couldn't give a shit. Are there good, hard working, caring people living here - yes, can you deny there is also a criminal element - no.

Here, in my own city, there have been cases where a newscast will state "Mr. Anderson was murdered outside a KNOWN crack house." Known? Seriously? By whom - the community, the neighbours, the police, Social Services?? AND nothing has been done?? Taking the ostrich approach doesn't work and filming a documentary about your neighbourhood and making it look all sweetness and light, when it clearly isn't, does not serve any purpose.

Obviously this BBC documentary was not about workers struggling to make ends meet or unemployed people desperate to find employment. It was about a flawed system that is in dire need of overhauling. There is a 'Benefit Street"  in every city. This community is just pissed because it showed theirs. It is a classic case of ' Not In My Back Yard.' Now that the world has seen the problems, how about getting together to solve them, instead of pointing a finger at the BBC.



Things I have learned this week:

The Kardashians may be out of a weekly series job. We can only hope! But Kim's main squeeze, Kanye West, is writing a movie role for her, where she is going to be 'very dramatic.' I know, using the words dramatic and writing when speaking about these two is very strange....especially when Kanye's latest album was entitled "Yeezus." - I am positive he thought that was really clever!

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If you are trapped in your house because of bad weather and feel kind of creative you can always try Latte Art:

Come ON - How cute is this????


Or decorate a cake:

Sherlock Holmes anyone?

Have a good day, eh!

PERHAPS I'LL GET A CLOWN FISH

We are back again to having only one fish in our aquarium. We had Just Jeffrey for years until I gave him back to the pet store...he had eaten all of his tank mates.
When people exclaimed:

"Oh you have an aquarium! How many fish do you have?"

We would say with a deep sigh..."Just Jeffrey."

Now we have Lonely Lonely Bob. A single, blue/red Neon Tetra who is the only survivor of us going away for six weeks. My husband called him Lonely Lonely Bob, because we are putting human traits onto him and thinking he is very lonely all by himself, and I guess Bob because that is what he does all day......

I have tried keeping numerous 'exotic' fish but I think for this time I will just buy an entire school of Neon Tetras to keep Lonely Lonely Bob company. And no, I don't think I will name them all.

Fish can actually form schools containing millions of fish. But that won't happen here because my tank is only 35 gallons so really, what would be the point? Besides they need oxygen in their water and with a MILLION in my tank they would soon run out. I think I will stick with say, a Bakers dozen....twelve plus Lonely Lonely Bob.

Just so you know, and may want to drop this into an awkward moment at your next cocktail party....When schooling, fish use their eyes and something called a lateral line to hold their places in the school. The lateral line is a row of pores running along the fishes sides from head to tail. Special hairs in the pores sense changes in water pressure from the movements of other fish or predators....... I had no idea - I just think they are pretty....and I will buy more.....and it may keep our one remaining cat, Hope, busy for a while.

Since Lily went to that great litter box in the sky, Hope has been basically left alone - our house sitter worked all day. Now that we are home again she has not shut up!!!

Of course being a cat, she is either sleeping or grooming herself - generally at night, on our bed. But when she is up and sees us she just talks and talks. Cats can make over 100 vocal sounds...dogs 10. I read that the more you talk back to cats the more they will answer...so I am trying NOT to ask her what the hell she wants. Milk? Food? Out?

Another interesting fact about felines is that their urine glows in the dark. I actually read "If you think your cat has had an accident in your home, use a black light to find the mishap." Seriously - have you smelled cat urine??? You won't have any trouble finding it. Hope peed in my shoe once - I had to throw it out!

Other amazing and somewhat interesting facts about cats that I know:

A cat's jaw cannot move sideways.

In a lifetime the average house cat spends 10,950 hours purring. (This was probably a Government survey conducted by cardigan wearing, sensible shoe wearing World War Two brides to supplement their pension - your tax dollars at work!)

Sir Isaac Newton, discoverer of the principles of gravity....also invented....the CAT DOOR! Where there is up, there is down, where there is in, there is out.

When cats are happy they squeeze their eyes shut. I do this when I see chocolate.

And finally, something I have always questioned. The reason there is no MOUSE flavoured cat food? The test cats....didn't like it!!

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Houston....we have a problem! Honk your red noses and squirt your lapel flowers but this is no laughing matter - America may soon have a shortage of clowns. Due to the advanced age of most professional clowns and a .....well....lack of interest in general clowning there could be a national clown shortage.

The largest clown organization in the United States is the WORLD Clown Association which to date has only 2,500 members. Apparently there are fewer and fewer opportunities for aspiring clowns to make a decent living.  Our grandkids don't want clowns...they want Criss Angel! Someone who can make an elephant disappear not a grease-painted person with balloon animals. Clowning just isn't cool anymore.

For those who still want to don wigs, paint on eyebrows and ride around on small trikes there is the Ringling Bros Clown College. But alas only 14 tried out for a two week boot camp and only 11 of them were offered jobs at the circus.

David Kiser, director of talent for Ringling Bros stated, "Our audience expects to be wowed. No longer is it good enough to just drop your pants and focus on boxer shorts."  At least I HOPE he was talking about clowns.....

In Northhampton a man apparently dressed as a 'funny' clown  terrorized local residents. Well, that's not good for publicity is it? There actually is a phobia - a fear of clowns - called coulrophobia, so I am sure this didn't help at all.

However there is "no crisis" in Britain, states Mr. Eldridge of  Clowns International, "There's never been THAT many clowns in Great Britain."

No, not necessarily clowns...but then who needs them when you have Pantomime?? No self respecting Brit would miss a Christmas Panto, where women are women and men are women.

Okay, so this isn't Panto. It's Beatrice and Eugenie...members of the Royal Family ...but sometimes you have to wonder!



This is Panto:

My second cousin Margaret's husband, Gordon, was in Panto all of his life. Along with his brother, Bunny, to whom he played the straight man. AND they made quite a good living, retiring in 2007. We caught up with him in England a few years back.






  I have NO IDEA what I was doing in this picture!!!



Things I have learned this week:

Even though British man David Pope had more to worry about during the recent flooding in his village he managed to save three goldfish swimming down his street. Using a handy teapot he scooped them up and saved them from....well, freedom.

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I have been watching Vikings on the History channel. I discovered that it is also in 'described video.'  Now, from what I have seen I can't imagine WHAT the description would entail:

'Ragnar Lothbrok steps from his longboat. Several men on horseback ride toward him. Ragnar Lothbrok and his Norsemen hack and kill all the horsemen.'

'Ragnar Lothbrok steps down from his horse. Several men on foot attack and are quickly killed (hack, hack, chop, hack ) by Ragnar Lothbrok and his Norsemen.'

'Ragnar Lothbrok walks through the forest. He spies a camp. He and his Norsemen hack, hack, chop, hack....."           .......well you get the idea.

But I will keep watching because I really like Ragnar Lothbrok.

SHOULD I REALLY BE SAYING OM.............GOD???

I heard this comment on a television show the other day...now the context was a bit strange - it was a woman speaking to her husband on one of those renovating shows. They had been going back and forth about whether to move or stay in their house.....the wife was not happy with the interior decorator and she said to her husband:

"You are certainly putting a lot of faith into someone who doesn't even go to church."

HUH???

Am I to assume.....If you don't go to church, and more than likely HER church, you can't be trusted?

I just don't get this whole or holier than thou principle. I have several Catholic friends who know I am not a religious person, but they still hang out with me and call me a friend. Knowing full well, in their belief, I am headed straight to HELL - do not pass go, do not collect $100.00. I'm done.

No matter what I do at this point in my life, I am doomed. However, I was told by one of them that that isn't necessarily true because I am a nice person. So, as long as I don't turn into a serial killer, rob a bank or cheat on my taxes or anything even more evil I should be okay.

Well, that is fine and dandy, because I don't believe in hell or heaven, so no worries.

My Mother was a card carrying Atheist. I think that if she had been wrong all of her life, when she passed away and she did indeed go up or down...she would have come back and told me.

And, while on this subject....what is a 'lapsed Catholic."? I understand that you can not be something anymore, but what does it mean when you explain you are no longer a Catholic. Or does it mean you are still sort of thinking about it...keeping your foot in the door so to speak. Or - I used to be a religious person, but now, well, not so much, but I am keeping all avenues open by just saying I am or have lapsed. You either are or you aren't I'm thinkin'. Lapsed means expired! You are an Expired Catholic....your due date is up.

Another thing I really don't understand is why Christians have to state to one and all that they are, indeed, Christians. Can't you just be a Christian, do nice Christian things and not have to point out your good deeds to others? Exactly what constitutes being a Christian??? Certainly not bragging about it.

I had a man here working on my bathroom reno and out of the blue he said "I am a Christian."

I could have replied, "I am an Agnostic." But I wanted my bathroom done correctly.

Why did he feel that I had to be advised of this? Did it make him a 'better' person and therefore I would trust him more than say....a Lutheran? What it did do was put me on my best behavior in the swearing department. But I did slip at the end and tell him he did 'one hell of a job.' I think I saw a slight cringe.

When we bought some furniture down in Arizona the sales rep leaned into our truck window, after helping us load everything, and asked me "Are you Christian?"

I immediately replied with a nod toward my husband Kristjan - "No, he is. I'm Colleen."

Rob, the sales guy, looked at me like I belonged to some strange new religious group he had never heard of. The Colleens.  Again - what was the point? Did he expect us to say yes and do a secret handshake? Did this mean we could have gotten a discount?

Another thing that gets me about being Christian is the fish symbol that is almost as prevalent as the pink ribbons for breast cancer.

According to one ancient story, when a Christian met a stranger in the road, the Christian sometimes drew one arc of the simple fish outline in the dirt. If the stranger drew the other arc, both believers knew they were in good company. Current bumper-sticker and business card uses of the fish hearken back to this practice. Again - why do they need to advertise? Doesn't anyone else find this a bit .....dare I say..offensive?

Here is my symbol for my car:

Do you think a lot of people are offended by this - oh yeah!!

Even though there is a symbol for being Agnostic - a sort of stylized 'A' -  I was thinking that I should come up with a symbol for how I feel about being an Agnostic. I think it should look like this:

'Agnosticism is the view that the truth values of certain claims—especially claims about the existence or non-existence of any deity, as well as other religious and metaphysical claims—are unknown or unknowable. Agnosticism sometimes indicates doubt or a skeptical approach to questions. According to the philosopher William L. Rowe, in the popular sense, an agnostic is someone who neither believes nor disbelieves in the existence of a deity or deities.'

I believe in doing good things - Karma - good goes out and good comes back in. For the most part, I think the ten commandments are a good guideline to start with - with a few exceptions:

You shall not covet your neighbor's house: I have seen some pretty nice places I'd like to live in.

or the neighbor's male servant, or his female servant, or his ox, or his donkey, or anything that is your neighbor's: I KNOW my husband would really like the neighbor's tractor. Is that bad?? Does that make him a bad person?

And there are a few commandments I'm not wild about, that are obvious, considering the circumstances. But the BASIC idea is good....rules to live by.....do unto others and all that.

You do your thing, I'll do mine. I won't judge you and you shouldn't judge me....and if you key my car I will be very upset....that is NOT a Christian thing to do!

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Things I have learned this week:

It is not THE Grand Canyon. It is just Grand Canyon. We don't say THE Canada. I stand corrected.

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Within the Catholic Church, Saint Ailbe (or Ailbhe) is the sixth century patron saint of wolves. Legend has it he was raised and suckled by a wolf after being abandoned in the woods as an infant. He also was said to protect a wolf from hunters when he was bishop, and would allow his wolf-mother and her cubs to dine in his rooms. Good grief....is there a Saint for everything??

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If you order Bubblewrap from Amazon...this is how it is packed:

Honey Bieber Boo

Honestly, I just can't stand it anymore!!

Okay, okay, I have really tried to not say anything about Justin Bieber....basically because everyone else is all about him and he is everywhere!!! I am so tired of seeing his smiling mugshot picture or his hat backwards on his head.

Is it all hype? A wonderful marketing plan to keep him in the spotlight, have him shed his babyface looks and good behavior and turn him into......oh no....Mylie Cyrus!!!

Hannah Montana he ain't but he is a young boy from a small Canadian town who was discovered on Youtube. It's a Cinderella story but as soon as he hit his stride....or at least legal age...he said he wanted to party hard, get tattooed,  play with hookers and not listen to his handlers. Keep in mind here that his manager is actually called "Scooter."

So, our Lil Bieb buys a 6.5 million dollar 'house' in an upscale, gated community of Los Angeles. City of Angels. Where  he speeds down the roadways and tosses eggs at his neighbours house. He parties hard with some of his 'friends', Lil Za, and Lil Scrappy, for example.....and his FATHER! Yes, his extremely mature 38 year old dad who is just hanging on for the ride of his life...living off his son. But at least he does know to wear his hat with the peak toward the front....

Okay....so not your usual role model. Dear Dad has been jetting around with the Biebs smoking dope and frequenting high end "Gentleman's " clubs showing his son how it's done.

Lately Justin has had a run of bad luck....as in....getting caught doing stupid things. Really Justin.... urinating in a mop bucket in a New York restaurant??? Or like driving without a license in Florida where he admitted to drinking and doing drugs.....the legal age in Florida is 21 and he is 19. The drugs, well.... are his MOM'S! I guess Patti can't handle the stress of success and had some anti-depressants lying about. I don't know if Justin helped himself or it was a recommendation from his 'better' parent that he pop a few while drinking and smoking dope and then getting behind the wheel of a fast car. Of course when he was pulled over for "drag racing" at the speed of 55 mph he exclaimed to the policeman:

"Why the f--k are you doing this? What the f--k did I do? Why did you stop me?"

But I think in his head, when the policeman told him he was doing 55 mph, he thought:

"Whoooaaa, really! Like, man, I thought I was goin' a LOT faster......"
Another excellent adventure Ted.....


With his three 'adults' guiding him I am amazed he has made it this far! Patti also published a book, in case you missed it or want to buy it - Nowhere But Up - The Story of Justin Bieber's Mom. Well, Patti, the way things are going there could be an opposite of Up.

Does the little guy have so much money that even if he does self destruct mom and dad will still be set for life? Probably...so party on dudes.


Justin's last album was a flop and his latest concert film Believe, grossed just over $6 million, which  in the business - isn't good. And the fact that he has been doing this for five years and his fan base is now almost out of high school and having mad crushes on real live people they know or the next up and comers in the music industry does not bode well for our Canadian lad.

Twice now he has TWEETED that he is about to give it all up and "retire." Really Justin....and do what? Start a clothing line? Advertise for cologne? Put your shirt on, straighten your hat, pull up your pants, ditch your friends, stop hiring hookers and stop thinking you are black, bad and from the ghetto.You are a little white boy who got extremely lucky.


Things I've learned this week or perhaps a few weeks ago:

My husband was in the mall at Christmas and noticed the Salvation Army lady with her familiar plastic globe awaiting donations. He went over to her and said jokingly, "If you ring your bells I'll give you some money." AND she told him she couldn't because they would upset the store owners.

WHAT??? The quintessential sound of Christmas is not allowed because it is upsetting to the renters of the mall??? BUT I AM FORCED to go into, say West 49, and be subjected to Kanye West singing about how "One good girl is worth a thousand bitches." and "I want to f*** you hard on the sink." REALLY!!!!

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"Philip Seymour Hoffman was an outstanding actor." This is a direct quote from one of the hundreds of people who have tweeted, email, commented, texted....since his death. Personally I found the guy a little creepy and didn't think his acting was 'that good." In fact, when it stated he was in the Hunger Games I actually had to look up his character because I didn't remember him being in it. So, what did I learn - well, when they say you have everything - acting ability, awards and admiration of your fellows - it also includes some deep, dark demons.