So IKEA stands for Ingvar Kamprad Elmtaryd Agunnaryd

I was talking to my brother about movies the other day, and mentioned that we had just watched World War Z. The only reason we rented, yes I said rented, it was because Brad stars in it. After much discussion on how we liked/disliked the entire movie I mentioned there is going to be a sequel.

"Sequel?" said my brother "but they have run out of alphabet."

"They can always start again - World War A." I said.

"Well, they did end up in Canada," commented my brother, "so it would have to be World War, eh?"

*****

We went to the Winnipeg IKEA for the first time this week. Decided to wait until the crowds had died down.....it has been open what....six months. Didn't need to worry - you could have shot a cannon off and not hit anything but a Ofelia Vass or a Somnig! My first questions was: "Where's the monkey?"





You all remember last winter when this poor little gaffer was found running about the IKEA parking lot....even though he was fashionably dressed....that is just not right!

His 'mom' has been trying to get him back from his stint in the Story Book Farm Primate Sanctuary, where he has been living since being taken away - NO  KIDDING - from his Mommy. She of course is still fighting to get him back because he is her baby (even though she did try and give him back to the guy who sold him to her for a whacking $5,000.00).


Story goes the Mom, Nakhuda, wanted a baby Japanese macaque monkey because “she had seen a video of one waiting on tables in a restaurant and thought it was interesting."

So, I'm thinking IKEA lost a bet here - really, the marketing boys where not up to their usual standard on this one. I would have had Thailand or Sweden cranking out little stuffed, coat-wearing monkeys a thousand a second and flogging those suckers at every IKEA in the world. ..... AND.... IKEA has a restaurant. Why can't the staff be dressed up like monkeys? All wearing Shearling coats??? Ah - how cute would that be?


Vould you like Svedish meatballs with that?

ACTUALLY my dear husband did have the meatballs and he said they didn't taste like horse at all (was than ever proven???). NNNNAAAAYYYYY

Why did we go to IKEA? Because every once in a few years my dear husband comes up with an idea....an idea that the 'royal WE"...as in me....ends up doing. This time the idea was that we should get duvets just like the lovely ones we slept under in Iceland and England. They were soft and billowy and WHITE! And oh so comfortable....and where else would we buy these except for a European store like IKEA. So, I said that it would be a good idea if said husband came along with me seeing as it was his idea. Surprisingly, he agreed.

I had forgotten when my husband comes shopping we end up with a cart full of....stuff....stuff that I normally would not purchase. So, we ended up with two single duvets and covers. Why two...well, then each of us can wrap ourselves up in our OWN little duvet and not bother the one sleeping next to us. AND - we also bought, three throw pillows, even though I have about a dozen of various sizes at home; two packages of candles of various sizes, a package of taper candles, TEN candle holders (again....I have a cupboard full of these) and two silver coloured trays for the candles to sit upon...and a LOT of ideas on how to completely gut a house and do it up IKEA style!!!

Needless to say, I didn't get white duvet covers, because unless you have the proper room decor to go with white it just doesn't work.....and this is Winnipeg, Canada and winter is coming, so white isn't a great choice for feeling down (get it) right warm.

Last night I tried out the new bedding. I had suggested washing the covers first, but husband said "Nah, just throw them on and we'll try them out." which I did. I think they look okay.....but by one a.m. I was scratching and tossing and HOT!

This morning I took the covers off and tossed them into the washer and separated the duvets - because we bought two duvets in one. Yes - They snap together and you can have Summer light ones, or double Winter ones. So, do the math. I now actually have FOUR single duvets! Good Grief!!!

I remembered,,,,,somewhere in my brain.....my English cousin saying something about ironing her covers.....ironing???? Sorry, I am the one whose small daughter pointed at Gramdma's iron and asked "What's that??" (I received a very large tsk tsk for that one).......I DON'T iron!

In fact, while in England, Kris stood at the doorway and watched my cousin iron shirts. "What's she doing?' he asked in a hushed tone.  I said, "Oh that......It's a British thing....sort of like Hoovering. Don't you worry about it." And quickly hustled him out the door.

BUT all the cousins bed covers looked so crisp and white and billowy and smelled really good......so, I either have to move to Iceland or England, change my bedroom colours or go smash my new duvet covers on rocks by a stream until they are cottony soft......hopefully before freeze up.


Things I've learned this week:

U.S. President Lyndon Johnson had two Beagles named Him and Her.

There are a LOT of  Tim Horton's built close to fitness centres.

Arnold Schwarzenegger has sex five times a day. This, according to a newspaper report - and we know those are always accurate. Arnie's good friend and ex druggie/drunk Tom Arnold is stated as saying his buddy sees it as a 'work out' in his fitness routine. First of all - what woman would put up with that??? Well - okay - one that gets paid......but I am thinking the headlines should have read, because we are talking about a man in his sixties here, " Arnold WISHES he had sex five times a day."