ATTENTION - Leggings are NOT pants.

I am always amazed by what GOD tells people to do. I am always amazed that God speaks to people anyway...but that is beside the point.

Apparently, an Oregon Christian blogger gave up leggings to honor God and her husband posted it on his blog and it sparked an 'international' debate.

The attention has made his wife, Mrs. Partridge uncomfortable. The Bend 'resident, burgeoning farmer and mother to one toddler' said she is a "reserved" person that doesn't like controversy. She didn't write about her decision to stop wearing leggings in public to spark a debate, she said, but because she felt like God was calling her to share her story with friends.

Personally, with all that strife in the world, I don't think that GOD would be concerned with Mrs. Partridge showing off her bottom....which is the point she is trying to make. She thinks seeing all the jiggly bottoms around the mall is sinful and she does not want to be part of it any more. She isn't completely giving up leggings and will continue to wear them around the house and if she HAS to wear them out, will have on a long top.


In her picture she looked completely normal....really..so looks can be deceiving. 


I would really like to read about someone, who has spoken to God, and been told that they should do good in the world. And I mean REAL good, like volunteering their time at a seniors residence or tutoring children who are having problems at school or helping animal shelters. But NO - generally - they are told, by Jesus, to kill someone. What the hell??? Or to collect more money for their church....or to spread The Word.  


Actually, I would, just once, like to hear a Lottery winner say they are going to do "good."  Not buy a new car, a new house and go on a vacation. How about spreading some of that new found wealth around...see above suggestions. 

So, that of course brings me to my usual rant about religion., and people who just can't keep their beliefs to themselves.


Just some things that annoy be about 'Christians' who are over the top......

First of all, and I have said this before, they have to tell me that they are Christian. I don't care and it will not sway my opinion of you in any way. In my opinion it does not necessarily make you a better person. But if you keep telling me how good you are....I will get annoyed.

Yelling out random words (“Praise Jesus,” “Hallelujah!”) while other people are trying to listen to the sermon. You agree with the pastor. We understand this. But just say it in your head or nod silently.

Tell me I’m on the “right path” by being there. In their church. I was doing just fine a couple hours ago, thank you very much.

Pass out Christian business directories. It’s like saying the Christian lawyer is trustworthy, but the Jew lawyer will take your money and the atheist lawyer will try to lose your case on purpose. This is not making a strong case for 'christian love.'

Ask me if they can pray for me.  If you want to, just go ahead and do it, but quietly, in your head and not in a public place.

(This actually happened to me one day when I was shopping with my young daughter. She had a bad cold and I commented on this to the young man who we knew, barely, through our mail lady.

He asked "Can I pray for her?" and I nodded okay (fill yer boots boy - it's only a cold) thinking he would do it next time in church. BUT THEN -  He actually got down on his knees - in WalMart!! - and reached out to my daughter, who tried to hide behind me and started to cry - loudly.)

Ask me if they can pray for me, then put their hands on my shoulders and begin praying. see above...Stop touching me or anyone in my family.

Mischaracterize people of other faiths or no faiths. “Those atheists know God is there; they just don’t want to follow His rules!”
“Those Muslims really want to become Christians"

Quickly to the MissionaryMobile!”

Keep your religious practises to yourself or speak quietly amongst yourselves. I don't tell you what I think...so don't try and foist what you think onto me. I'm not kidding....this is a warning....I am backing away....slowly....now.




Things I learned this week:

Paul McCartney is beginning to look even more like Angela Lansbury......

getting better....all...the....time....

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Who ya gonna call??? A new lineup for a new Ghostbusters - all female cast. Some things should just be left alone. 

****

At times....Try to use small words. 

I had an exploding shower panel that was replaced with the wrong clear panel and now has to be replaced with the correct frosted panel. So I am speaking on the phone, to the guy at our DIY Rona store.

"Your man came out and replaced the panel and I know you are going to fix it, but now the integrity of the shower has been compromised and there is water on the floor." 

"Huh?"

"It LEAKS!"

I SEE THE LIGHTS COME SHINING....

The truth is out there — AND now, it seems, on the InterWeb.

The fabled Project Blue Book, the Air Force's files on UFO sightings and investigations, have, for years, tantalized and frustrated extraterrestrial enthusiasts ( aka Nutbars.)  However this last week nearly 130,000 pages of declassified UFO records were put online. A day to make XFile groupies pee their collective pants.

UFO enthusiast John Greenewald has spent nearly two decades filing Freedom of Information Act requests for the government's files on UFOs and other phenomena. John obviously doesn't have a day job.

BUT it paid off, because, on January 12, Greenewald posted the Blue Book files — as well as files on Blue Book's 1940s-era predecessors, Project Sign and Project Grudge — on his online database, The Black Vault.

Strangely, the one thing you won't find online are records related directly to the alleged 1947 Roswell, N.M., incident, where conspiracy theorists maintain the military recovered a crashed alien spacecraft and its occupants. (Cue eerie music here.) I have been to Roswell and to say City Counsel has embraced this part of their history is to put it mildly! There is even a FREE alien museum.....get your T-shirts here!

But the name Roswell does pop up several times in the declassified files. Several blurry photographs of lights in the sky were taken at Roswell in 1949. And in 1950. Airmen there spotted a circular object 10 feet in diameter with a bluish-white color going fast at 8,000 feet and taking a sharp turn to the right. True!

The National Archives maintains it "has been unable to locate any documentation among the Project Blue Book records which discuss the 1947 incident in Roswell, N.M." ( please note this omission  - conspiracy theorists).

Only in Roswell you say......We in Canada and the rest of the world haven't been left out in the UFO department: Here are just a smattering of news headlines.

UFO spotted hovering over iceberg in eastern Canada - An eyewitness claimed to have spotted a white object spinning and shape-shifting above the sea during an excursion to Salvador, Newfoundland.

A UFO whizzes past CCTV camera on darkened industrial estate - In this video, a bright, white object can be seen hurtling through the air at breakneck pace. It was recorded on a CCTV camera on an industrial site in Prokopyevsky, Russia.

A UFO attacked a Taliban camp in Afghanistan - This clip shows a triangular shaped airborne object open fire on an insurgent position. Explosions can be seen and a huge plume of smoke soon rises up in to the sky.

A Bizarre 'rotating' object spotted over London, England - A series of photographs showed a blackish, rotating object complete with a light in the skies above the capital. It later floated off in the direction of Highbury and Islington.

M  I   C.....K   E   Y.....

And finally- a US Army Air Force fighter jet destroyed a giant 'alien monster' in the desert - A video uploaded to YouTube purports to to show the moment a fighter jet bombs a bizarre, throbbing jellyfish-like object in New Mexico, in the United States.

Then of course there is this:

Happy World UFO Day! A mock UFO with alien dolls and reading ‘Smile, you are being abducted’ is seen in Alto Paraiso town, Goias State, in Brazil. 

But - I have my very own alien just down the road.....

He is missing an arm and is held together with duct tape, but, hey, his travels have him a long way from home.

 And a sign on the door....the owner told me 'it glows in the dark.'

Never give up, never surrender....never give up hope....

And Dear Husband asked the question:

'With all the cell phone cameras and digital cameras how come there aren't better pictures of UFOs???'  Good point Dear Husband. 

Things I've learned this week:

It was Martin Luther King day down here in the good old U S. of A this last week. What was closed? Banks, all Federal Offices, all State offices etc.  What was still open and working? WalMart, restaurants, construction, grocery stores, gardeners digging weeds.....think about this list for a moment, and who the majority of the workers are....... Yes, America - you've certainly come a long way.

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The Sun newspaper,in England, will no longer feature topless women on Page Three, the Times has reported.

The Times said it understood Friday's edition of the Sun was the last that would carry images of topless women, although they would continue online.

Page Three has been a Sun feature for 44 years but has been criticised for being sexist and outdated. Ya think!!!!

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Pictured below - Chinese soldiers throw snow onto their bodies in temperatures below -30C (-22F) during a winter training session at a military base in Heihe, Heilongjiang province. Apparently to make them...what? Stronger, more manly, smarter.....

In Canada we call this STUPID

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There is a website about a cat named Maru......  In which

'Maru Transcends The Very Concept Of Box'

When Maru gets into a box, he apparently, transforms the possibilities of that box. The box becomes an extension of Maru’s self – a specular transmission of his essence.

its a friggin CAT IN A BOX!!!

Only in Canada...... You Say

Voters knew surprisingly little about retired software engineer Richard Atwell when he put his name forward for mayor of Saanich, the 110,000-strong suburb bordering Victoria, B.C.in Canada.

The “About Me” page on his campaign website contained little more than pictures of HIS CAT and a few scattered endorsements

Apparently, Mr. Atwell was the only VIABLE candidate against the long standing mayor of the day.

So Saanich, B.C. Mayor Richard Atwell can be forgiven for finding himself "a little distracted" after admitting to lying about an extramarital affair, suggesting police are mounting a vendetta against him and accusing city staff of bugging his computer.

On December 11, the newly sworn-in mayor called police after reportedly finding himself in a physical standoff with the enraged fiancé of a female “campaign supporter, who he claimed was just a good friend. Really? Do most Mayors go to the homes of female campaign supporters to express their....um...thanks?

 Asked point blank whether he was having an extramarital affair, he nervously replied “no, we’re close friends.” Liar, liar pants on fire, is what I said at the time.

Then, lo and behold at a surprise  (cover your ass) press conference, Mayor Atwell admitted that he was “not totally truthful” about the affair. Sort of like being half a virgin.....This guy is just not helping himself.

Since he first put his name in as a candidate, Mr. Atwell said he has been pulled over four times by local police for infractions as inconsequential as taking a turn too wide or taking too long to turn left. Note the word 'infractions', as in WRONG!

“When he saw my driver’s license, he said in a cocky voice ‘well, if it isn’t Mayor Atwell,’” Mr. Atwell told the National Post by phone, describing his fourth such encounter. Oh, boo hoo Mr. Atwell. No one said becoming a Mayor was going to be easy.  Mr. Atwell is even described by colleagues as thoughtful and intelligent— if a bit awkward. This does not bode well for Saanich.

With all that going on he comes up with the idea that someone was spying on his computer.

‘Without my knowledge someone was planning to spy on everything I did on my computer’  he is quoted as saying (complaining, mewling etc.).

Without your knowledge?.....I do believe when you use the word "spy" that means they haven't asked you for permission.

 I think that at any workplace if you are given a computer to use, it would be the understanding that it was for workplace business, and if there was a spy software on it it would be to see what you are not supposed to be doing....gee.....lunch time porn comes to mind, or perhaps Interweb sites on cats.

Perhaps I am being a bit too harsh on poor, whiny Mr. Atwell. After all, one of Mr. Atwell’s first acts as mayor was to fire its recently appointed Chief Administrative Officer Paul Murray. The move cost the municipality upwards of $500,000 in severance pay, and was condemned unanimously by Saanich councilors. So, there could be some hard feelings.

"The mayor is really only one vote on council, so the rest of council can continue if they have the wherewithal to do so," and according to B.C.'s Community Charter, a mayor can only be fired for missing four consecutive council meetings. What??? HOWEVER, recently, the mayor's issues have become a distraction from his main job. Which is?????.

Keep in mind, Atwell is the latest in a long line of Canadian mayors to draw public attention as a result of 'personal indiscretions'. Their offences range from the criminal to the ridiculous. 

Toronto Mayor Ford denied trying the drug cocaine; but later explained he only did it when he was completely plastered on alcohol. Well, that certainly explains that!

Houston, B.C. mayor Sharon Smith had nude pictures emerge of her in the mayoral chair, sporting only her 'chain of office.' Why Sharon...why?

Former Kitimat, B.C. mayor Joanne Monaghan,  made headlines after she was hauled into court for violating bear-feeding regulations by giving food to squirrels.

But, there's a big difference between sleeping with someone else's fiance and feeding squirrels.


*****

I was in the supermarket here and saw a sign over an aisle that stated:
Mexican
Chinese
Crackers.

And I thought to myself  - ' Finally, we got our own aisle.'



Things I learned this week:

A long-haired tabby cat named Masha, in the freezing city of Obninsk, Russia, saved an abandoned baby by climbing into a box it was left in to keep it warm. So there, all you people who think that a cat will 'steal a baby's breath' if it gets into a crib...... Yeah Cats!!!

***
Should you book a table for 13 people at London’s famous Savoy Grill, your party will be joined by an uninvited guest: a 3-foot-high wood sculpture of a regal black cat, called Kasper.

The tradition started in 1898 after an unlucky South African guest named Woolf Joel held a dinner party attended by only 13 people. All his guests knew the superstition about a terrible fate befalling the first person to rise from a dinner table of 13, but Woolf Joel took no notice of such silly beliefs and exited first after dinner, unconcerned about his future. On his return to South Africa shortly afterwards, he was tragically shot dead.


***

There is a website that has pictures of cats who look like politicians. In this day and age, of course there is. This was one of my favs.

I have no idea who the guy is....but that cat has a lot of character. 

***

And because this Blog is mostly about politicians and cats and I am a patriotic Canadian (somewhat) and a cat lover ( a LOT) but not at all political....here is MY Prime Minister holding a cat

Ah Stephen....all you need is a pin declaring "I heart kitties" and you just may get more votes.

YUM....TURKEY MUFFINS

I am sure that if you are a certain age you will know the rhyme Do You Know the Muffin Man.

It was a sing song I used to hum at one time, I am sure. There was even a game, albeit, Victorian times, where people would sit around a parlour and one person would start out:

Do you know the muffin man, the muffin man
Do you know the muffin man who lives on Drury Lane

The next person would sing -  Yes I know the muffin man, the muffin man, who lives on Drury Lane

then the two of them would sing: Two of us know the muffin man....etc. etc. and so on until FINALLY everybody sings - We ALL know the muffin man....

Then I guess they poured the tea and carried on.

Okay - so, perhaps a little dreary for our times, and I am not to break out with this one at a party any time soon. But the point is.....I do KNOW the muffin man, but he doesn't live on Drury Lane.

Our neighbour from The Casa, up on the hill, brings fresh baked, steaming muffins right to our door on a regular basis. I even made him up a T-shirt with the fact that he is, indeed, THE Muffin Man, (and occasionally The Scone Man) at least in our neck of the woods.

I will have to have Dear Husband do up a musical ditty gift  in his honor:

Ode to Nick
Do you know the muffin (slash) scone man, oh do you know the muffin (slash) scone man......who lives up the hill in a house called The Casa.........and comes down with Ziplocks full of them......and gives them to the neighbours....early in the morning....

Well, Christmas is only what .....300 and some days away!!!

***

We read, electronically, a lot of newspapers. Every morning with sit, hunched over our Blackberry Playbooks and talk back and forth:

"Are you on the BBC? Look at the third sidebar on the right....about....."

" No, I'm on the CBC, Manitoba checking out the weather. Give me a moment."

Then we discuss whatever the story is about. This beats of the old way of sharing one actual, paper printed newspaper, with Dear Husband peering at me over the top of his and READING the entire story while I was already on the Arts and Entertainment section.

As we are away from our home town, we do like to keep up on their local news. I was quite dismayed to discover that because we only have a weekend paper there, we could NOT get the electronic paper here. OH NO, we had to be a full, weekly subscriber for that! What the hell???

I also discovered that anyone, and that is ANYONE in their immediate area can access the paper, in full, for NOTHING!!! So, let's get this straight. I pay for the weekend printed paper and I read the electronic version for the rest of the week (for free) when there, but as soon as I am out of the area I have to pay. Okay. I realise that revenue has to come from somewhere, but REALLY!!!!

So, I am sitting at the dining room table and Dear Husband is gushing about the LIVE, twenty four hour, BBC (as in England, across the pond)  news cast he is watching FOR FREE,  and I think to myself  "and we can't even get the Winnipeg FREE Press."  HA!


Things I have learned this week:

The largest muffin ever baked was 195.55 pounds and after being measured was given away to a local hospice. And No, it didn't say what KIND of muffin.

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There is an actual website entitled: The Weirdest Incidents Involving Wild Turkeys This Week.

Just in case you are sitting eating your muffins and can't get to read your own local paper this is just fascinating.

An author in Lodi, California announced her upcoming children’s book, “Tom Kettleman—the People’s Turkey”—a tribute to the beloved, local wild turkey who routinely traversed six lanes of traffic until he was struck by a car earlier this fall. (The turkey, it was said, always used the crosswalk.) In the wake of Tom Kettleman’s death, residents held a candle-lit memorial for the turkey. He had “thousands of fans on Facebook.”

In Maryland, a group of people outside the Faith United Church of Christ were charged by a mob of wild turkeys; the congregants had stepped outside, to take a break, while cooking a large turkey dinner.

A Tennessee woman entered into a prolonged, fraught stand-off with a wild turkey that was blocking her car in her driveway. She tried shouting at the turkey, charging it with her vehicle and also coaxing it out of her way by feeding it a raspberry, but ultimately conceded, “I’m not a wild turkey, so I really have no idea what a raspberry means to a turkey.” In the end, she was able to scare the turkey away by hurling a frozen turkey at it.

AND I REPEAT, the title states 'This Week."

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Muffin Knight is an action-packed electronic game with stunning visuals and a myriad of fairytale characters, each with their own unique abilities, which gain strength as you advance.

This is the story of a little boy, on his journey to return the old fairy’s magical muffins. A strange curse was set on him: with each muffin he touches, he turns into a different creature. The old fairy promises to turn him back into a boy when he gets all the muffins back.

Yeah, we've all heard THAT before!!!

Year of the GIGI or Vajayjay

When I look back on 2014 I am reminded of how utterly ridiculous some 'newsworthy' events can be. I mean, really, with all the strife in the world, we are still obsessed by the absurd. And I'm not talking about Hollywood here.

When I was a youngster my' private part' was referred to as a GiGi (not too sure of the spelling, but since it is a made up word I will go with this). It is/was  pronounced ghee ghee...not like the movie starring  Charles Boyer.

Vagina is a stupid word at the best of times; having it shouted by a three-year-old can only add to its unutterable weirdness. So what can kids call it instead? The options are woeful, but they would appear to be as follows:

★ Front bottom

★ Flower

★ Kitty

★ Bajingo

★ Foo-foo

★ Hoo-hee

★ Hoo-hoo


I remember flying to visit my Mom, with my then two year old daughter, and when we flew over the city of Regina the pilot announced that fact.

 'For those of your on the left side of the plane, we are flying over Regina.'

My daughters eyes grew wide and she leaned toward the window and yelled in an astonished voice...'.we are flying over.....a VAGINA????'

The vagina has been the most obsessed-over body part since apes began to walk upright. Just ask any teenage boy....

Life in the Stone Age was relatively simple. I'm thinkin' one’s job was to eat and reproduce. Neither was easy back then, so Stone Age man turned to the mystical properties of cave art to help ensure the hunts for both game and the opposite sex. This image below, of a vulva, one of the earliest known examples of cave carving, is also one of the oldest known examples of artwork. There has been some argument among experts as to whether or not this circle with a slash through it is in fact a vagina. Perhaps—but I think it looks exactly  like an ‘On/off’ button.

Aurignacian vulvar representation, circa 35,000 B.C., Vézère Valley, France

HAHA you will never look at your keyboard the same from now on.............

But is it art?

For some strange reason Henri's cupcakes sold extremely well at the church fund raiser. 

Then of course, this obsession is  not something new. Back in the day we had Madonna, who for some strange reason, thought her coffeetable book of her own body parts, including her PRIVATES (not so much now) was a great idea. A coffeetable book!!!!....something to flip through while your hostess is preparing dinner??

But 2014 seemed to be a year to remember for society bringing that part of a womans body into the forefront, so to speak......".Man stuck in stone vagina" reads the headline. Apparently there is a large stone vagina sculpture in Germany. An American student decided it would be a good idea to actually crawl into it.....he said on a dare. Yeah right. Personally I think  he was recreating his birth.

ANYWAY, he is now immortalized on the Interweb with the upper part of his body sticking out of a very large, very pink vagina. It is said that the 'firefighters delivered him headfirst.'   Put that on your resume buddy.

Then of course, there is the woman who decided to build a kayak shaped like her vagina. How does she know what hers looks like? Digital photography works wonders.....no more guy at the pharmaceutical store gazing adoringly at your private parts as they shoot out of the film machine...... EEEWWWWW.

No, now she can snap away in the privacy of her own home until she gets the right angle and then proceed to 'make art.' Last I heard she is up on charges for indecency. I'm wondering, if she hadn't actually told someone that this is what was represented....would anyone have noticed?

Last but not least, and closer to home. My Dear Husband told someone that Niki Minaj  (if you don't know who she is, don't worry, you are probably better off not knowing about her)....put a picture of her own private part on her latest album. Well, that is simply not true, and I don't know where that rumor started but I am concerned that Dear Husband looked at it and saw THAT!

'We are going to try a Rorschach test Mr. B. What do you see here?'

Dear Husband, ' I think a young naked woman sat in some pink paint and then sat on some paper and put it on the cover of her latest album.'

' REALLY!!!!!!  VERY interesting.....'

In FACT, the cover picture is a sandy textured pink splatter with a thumb print in the middle on a black background.

But it makes me ponder.....How many women in the world.... are all sitting on their assets.


Things I have learned this week:

It is extremely hard to find a funky, quirky, house appropriate tea pot here in the southern U.S. of A. I have been looking in every shop we visit. Sure I have found some, but none that will fit the bill....as in MY bill. I want one that goes with the house. Crazy, I know, but that is what I am looking for. Of course down here when someone says "would you like a cup of tea?" they mean a CUP - NOT a pot. Toss a tea bag in a cup and dunk it up and down...there you go. No, that is not the way to make tea. Tea is a process - a process with a pot - and I will continue my search.


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We are very, very lucky to have family and friends. We wish them all the best in the coming new year.